Women of Reverence welcomes Jenni Lloyd as our guest blogger.
Jenni is a mother of five children. Three girls and two boys! She has a diploma in travel and tourism as well as a bachelor of commerce. Jenni is also the eldest in her family with two younger siblings. She has been married to the love of her life, Michael for 24 years and they currently live in the busy city of Johannesburg and are pastors in their local church.
I have written about what I have learnt and am still learning of being a mother to five incredible special children. The blog is little stories documented for fun, sometimes a laugh or a tear as I lean so much on Jesus. I realize how much I need my Heavenly Father in this journey of parenting and being a mother, and with Him nothing is impossible and without Him, nothing makes sense. This is an honest and real reflection of my journey as a mother.
My blog link is www.5gems.wordpress.com
There is something incredibly beautiful about transition and change yet equally challenging and hard. As humans, we know that there will always be change in our lives as we grow, yet we are so resistant to it. Transition is also the moving from one stage or thing, to another and it requires an adjustment which can be both good and bad simultaneously.
I have recently had a change with our firstborn finishing school and starting her new studies in Pretoria. Of course, we knew it was coming and the plans were all in place, but let me tell you, the day she drove out of our driveway to Pretoria, I stood there with tears pouring down my face. They were tears of adjusting to change, a family of 6 instead of 7 from Monday to Friday, and tears of love as I delight in her future, tears of the transition from dependent to almost independent. Yes, I know that Pretoria is not that far from Johannesburg and she comes home every weekend, but it was still a change, a transition and even though I thought I was prepared emotionally, I still felt ALL the feelings. I gave myself permission to feel all those emotions … why do we suppress emotions so much, when they were given to us by God our Father and Creator?
It is in those moments when I look at her and think, WOW what a woman she is becoming and her future if delightful, yet I question myself and wonder if I have done enough. Did I have enough conversations, did I input into in every area, every single day! Naturally, conversations will always continue, but there is a transition from little girl to mother talk, to woman to woman talk. She made me a mother, and I could not be prouder of her, yet I also want to hold her close and protect her, help her navigate every road she travels and be there all the time. Yet I have to learn in this new season, to change my grip on her. I am not letting go, but I am loosening my grip as she transitions from teenage girl into womanhood.
The conversations now are about new friends, new environments, budgets, textbooks, lectures and then coming home. I can already see such growth as she learns to spread her wings and fly, and I breathe a little easier knowing that as she also embraces this season of change, she too will flourish and mature.
Change has challenges, let’s be real yet I know through any season, any shift or transition, the constant in my life is Jesus. He never changes, He is always there, He helps me navigate these new roads and at every turn, He is cheering me on. So, as I take a deep breath, and my little girl learns to fly, I don’t despise the change but celebrate it moment by moment, day by day.