Looking back, giving my life to Jesus and living to make Him known didn’t sound like freedom because it meant I wouldn’t get to do I wanted or say what I wanted. In my fifteen-year-old mind, I had many arguments with our Father (which I thought I won) and these arguments almost always ended with me asking, “Was accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour not enough?”
As silly as it sounds, after acknowledging Christ as my Lord and Saviour, I didn’t quite understand the weight of this declaration; all I knew was that I believed in Jesus: I believed that He bled, died and rose again. I got into my mind that I had to decide how I wanted to live and I thought the cost was the same: my time, body, mind and resources. The one road was wide, comfortable and easier – all I had to do was live how I wanted to and no one would fault me for it; it wasn’t like I was hurting anyone. The second road pulled me out of my comfort zone and into a committed relationship with a jealous God. This path would not be as easy because it meant submitting my life to Jesus and making Him Lord over my life. (What does it mean to make Jesus Lord over my life? It means Jesus rules over my whole life, not just a part of it – Jesus is in control).
Of course, I chose the comfortable road; it was easy to navigate. You see, on that road, I had the power to act, speak and think how I wanted. On that road, I got to make the rules and live with no repercussions – I was free, or so I thought. Giving my mind and body to the flesh seemed like the cheaper choice, but the cost of living like this was far greater than I thought. I couldn’t see the destruction waiting for me – I was preoccupied with gratifying my flesh. The wide path tends to trick us into thinking we are in control and we are making the rules, when the reality is we are bound by the urges of the flesh and the unquenchable desires of our bodies.
When I finally caught up to the destruction that waited for me, I knew I had turn back. So I retraced my steps back to the feet of Jesus. I had a few scars and bruises from that road and a few wounds that needed patching – I’m so grateful that I serve Jehovah Rapha; He heals and He atones. He welcomed me with open arms and loved me through my foolishness.
We constantly quote scriptures such as, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light”, but we don’t fully grasp just how heavy the burden of iniquity is in comparison to a life lived with our Father. When we walk the narrow path, we turn away from a self-serving life, where instant gratification is lord, and we believe Jesus – what He said, how He lives and the finished work of the cross. On this narrow path, we trust Jesus with our lives and we live free from the enslavement of our bodies and minds to whims of the flesh.
This is true freedom.
Scripture references: Matthew 7:13-14 (NKJV); Matthew 11:30 (NKJV)
Love
Mbali
Women of Reverence welcomes guest contributor Mbali Sibiloane. She serves at Cornerstorne Church, Befordview involved in the youth ministry. Mbali works for the Insurance Industry.