Growing up, I was surrounded by boys. I had two boisterous brothers who had their friends around the house, playing TV games, cricket and soccer, and basically just being boys. I found that girls at school tended to mock me for my freckles, my laugh (which was too loud for them), my sneezing and whatever else they could make fun of.
While I often played with boys, I did have a few special friends who were girls that I still, to this day, have friendships with. Some of my friendships have been for 25+ years. I am truly grateful for these lifelong friends that God sent me.
However, I’ve always felt I wanted a large group of girlfriends. As I grew older and moved from Cape Town to Johannesburg, I had to make new friends. It was a journey of trying to find my friendship circle. I was longing for friends who I could call to pray for me and stand in agreement about decisions, but who also wanted to hang out by the pool, watching our kids play, or swop recipes and do lunch with me. I was longing for a SISTERHOOD of friends – prayer warrior, Christian women, who had my back and could do life with me.
Fast forward to 2021 (I think it was just after Covid): I remember watching a reel about God building a table for people to sit around, and I prayed and asked God for a group of friends who would be able to sit at this table with me. At the time, I still had my few close friends, whom I value so much, but I was also experiencing a shift in some friendships that I was holding onto, friendships that weren’t really serving me or them. And so, I made the decision to let go, and be open and willing to see what God was going to do with new friendships for me.
Sometimes that's a good place to get to; God sends us friends for every season of life. And it’s okay to move on from some friendships. I think choosing people to sit at your sisterhood table also takes time. It’s about really knowing who deserves a seat at your table. It’s about wisdom from God in knowing who is going to have your back in prayer. I suppose that’s also maturity in Christ, knowing that not every friend is on the same journey as you, but wishing them well, regardless.
So, what can you expect from God when you let go, and welcome in the new?
Firstly, just because we pray, it doesn’t mean God operates the next day! Probably one of the first things He tests us in, is patience. Patience to trust his plans. Patience to trust Him with our desires and prayers. Patience to align the right people to our lives. And so, even though this took about 2 years, I am starting to see the fruits of that prayer.
I had to trust in God’s plans.
Then, I had to also be willing and open. Be open to people I wouldn’t normally perhaps be “friends” with. I had to hear God when He said, “Invite this person around and get to know them. You see that lady? Go talk to her and see what you have in common.”
Three ways to take a seat at the sisterhood table:
1. Ask God for a sisterhood (and build on the current friendships you have). Then have patience and trust in God's plans. Even if it takes longer than you think, be prepared to let go and let God.
2. Listen to HIM when He guides you. His plans are always for good. He wants to surround you with the right people for your circle.
3. Go up to people who, perhaps, you wouldn’t normally approach, and get to know them. God doesn’t define friendship on race or nationality. Let HIM open the door to new friends. Step out in faith. Message the person that you’re thinking of.
Let me tell you what happens when you honour God with these three simple steps: He MOVES.
I invited a friend around from church who, possibly, thought I was a bit crazy - hahaha. I think, at one point, she was thinking, “Why me?” She is a quieter, more introverted person, whereas I am loud, outspoken, bubbly and talkative. But she came to visit, nonetheless. We had about a 4 hour conversation about life, kids, God and everything in between. At the end, I think she realized why I invited her around. We now talk almost every day. She prays for me and gives me words from God, and I do the same. I help her with recipes, meal planning and prayers.
The next lady, well, we did a marriage course together, but I had never really had a proper conversation with her. We started a wholeness course at church, and she needed a lift. So I offered because I realized she lives 7 minutes up the road from me.... Opportunities from God to build friendships. And let me tell you, our times talking in the car, and at the course, have really shown me what a special lady she is. She has 3 beautiful children who have come to our house since, and now her son and mine are best friends and spend so much time together. So, not only did I get a friend, but my son also did. BONUS!
These are just two examples of new friendships I have formed.
Together with my special friends that I have been blessed to know through years of friendship, I now have a table full of friends that I can call my sisterhood. They have my back and I have theirs. We pray together, do Bible courses together, and share life together.
So, expand your tables: God wants you to invite friends to take a seat.
Your Sister
Sam
Women of Reverence welcomes our guest contributor Samantha Lockhart.
Hi 👋 my name is Samantha Joy Lockhart, and I'm a mom, a wife, and the creator of Outspoken Women of God and That Joyful Mom.
God granted us women a voice and I feel it is imperative we share boldly what God says. These can be words of encouragement, prophetic words, prayer warrior words into areas of marriage, protecting our kids and especially into the areas of freeing ourselves from trauma and abuse strongholds which steal our identities and try to disarm women.
Outspoken Women of God is a safe space for courageous & joyful women of God to speak these Godly truths 🙏🏻
I have been together with my husband for over 17 years, married for 10. We have overcome many various obstacles over the years that were trying to destroy a God ordained marriage.