Growing up as a young girl in the church, I had lots of dreams, but for some reason, parenting was never one of them. In fact, I didn’t see myself pregnant or in the role of “mother”.
I would always tell my girlfriends how “motherly” they were or how they would be great mothers. I never thought that of myself; I think the fact that my mother didn’t raise me and I don’t know who my biological father is, must have played a role in this. I mean, I didn’t even play “moms and dads” as a child, lol.
After getting married, though, I had the desire to become a mother and God was faithful. Though I had a miscarriage, it was followed by two successful pregnancies and with both, the physical and emotional pain was beyond what I could express in words. My love for my daughters runs deep; I mean they are both miracle babies, after all.
I was raised by my grandmother, who gave me the best childhood she could, and it really was good, but because I had little to no relationship with my parents, this scripture has always encouraged me:
Psalm 68:5 (NIV): “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.”
Thank God for the church, for through my time in the church, God gave me mothers and fathers who loved me and healed my childhood trauma. I now nurture and raise my kids with my own childhood in mind and, for me, the most important thing I want to and feel I should be giving them is my presence.
I resigned after the birth of both my daughters so I could be present with them during their formative years. I am glad I had the opportunity to have been able to do so because while being there for my girls, a wound within me was being healed. I became the present mom, the one I never had.
I always want to give my girls what I didn’t have and what I have always longed for. I am in a season of my life where every decision I make is centred around their wellbeing, and that's okay – kids grow.
Parenting requires unconditional love.
Parenting requires sacrificial love.
Parenting requires patience.
Parenting requires discernment.
Parenting requires the leading of the Holy Spirit.
And parenting requires you to show up….
I have seen a lot of parents using what I call “things”. We buy our kids an excess of toys and clothes, and withhold discipline, believing this is good parenting. This I call “thingy parenting”. No amount of toys, or trending clothes, or lack of discipline, will make your children feel loved or fill the void in your own life.
Children want to be loved, and genuinely so, and this is shown by you being present in their lives for the day-to-day, mundane things.
As parents, it is our responsibility to give our children a Godly foundation.
Tell them about Jesus.
Read and recite Bible scriptures together.
Take them to church.
We are living in a world that can be cruel and cold. The best thing we can give our children is JESUS.
Matthew 19:14 (NIV): “Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'”
Personally, parenting has been God’s gift and a hug from Jesus to me. Kenyah and Arukah, your unconditional love has ministered to me in a manner no service ever could. You have healed parts of me I didn’t even know needed healing and in one particular hard season, you girls saved my life.
Dear parents: may we parent not according to culture, but Biblical standards and the leading of the Holy Spirit.
Blessings
Theodora Mooketsi
Founder: Wordlife Organisation; Mom of two
Women of Reverence welcomes Theodora Mooketsi as a guest contributor.
Theodora describes herself as a speaker by gifting and a preacher by calling.
She received Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of her life at the tender age 15 and has served God fervently ever since despite the challenges she had to navigate.
She's also a Bible school student and full time working mom.
She's a wife and mom of two beautiful girls.
Theodora and her husband, Joseph Mooketsi planted and led Seasons Church. She is the founder of The Wordlife Organisation and the organisation hosts conferences, ladies events and a book club. The vision of the organization is preach Christ and make Him known.
Theodora started preaching immediately after accepting salvation and has been gifted with a beautiful and simple manner of bringing the gospel alive and encouraging others,
Her motto is:
Africa will saved...