When we know that a tiny new baby will be arriving, there is so much excitement and anticipation: we buy cute baby grows and adorable shoes, imagine what that sweet face will look like and dream of a new season of motherhood. However, the process between pregnancy and holding that precious bundle – birthing – requires a lot of support! The beauty of birthing lies in teamwork!
I can honestly spend hours talking about birth – it’s an absolute passion and something I hold dear to my heart, because our family has grown from just the two of us, to a joyful five, and the Father has used the birthing process of our three children to teach me so many things. And so, this journey began when our first birth went nothing to plan, in every way. Afterwards, I spent hours before the Father, pouring out my heart, and doing research to find answers to the thousands of questions I had. I knew I needed to find healing for my tender heart. When we found out we were pregnant with our second child, I mustered up all the courage I had, knowing clearly what God had spoken, and decided to pursue the birth I had dreamed of. There is so much I could write about it, but one valuable lesson I learnt, and would like to encourage you with today, is the absolute importance of COMMUNITY and ACCOUNTABILITY. I love how God’s truth is woven even into our everyday experiences – we know that everything is for His glory.
With our second birth, one of the keys to an incredibly healing experience was a change in our birthing team. Had it not been for our phenomenal midwives and doula, and my wonderful husband, supporting and caring for me in my most vulnerable moments, I know the experience would have been very different. And it is the same with our hearts: God wants to birth things there; there are plans He has that He wants to bring to fruition, and parts of your character He wants to shape to look more like Jesus (Rom 8:29) – but you are not meant to do it alone. There is a spiritual birthing team God has put around you to cheer for you, encourage you when the road gets tough, laugh with you, and do the hard yards next to you when you feel you just can’t go on. The whisper of Scripture is community – just reading passages like Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Hebrews 10:25 and 1 Corinthians 12:12-27 gives us a glimpse into God’s heart for togetherness.
My husband and I have been in a spiritual birthing journey for what seems an eternity – 6 long years of searching, tears and hard work, waiting for what we believe God has promised to come to pass. In the past few weeks, I have become so grateful for the people He has placed around us, to help us in the difficult labour process of what He has wanted to do.
Here are some practical handles I’ve felt God highlight in my life:
1) Prayerfully consider your spiritual birthing team.
God will put key partners around you who will truly love you, care for you and walk the road with you. They won’t tell you only what you want to hear, but also what you need to hear. If you are lacking these authentic, encouraging relationships, ask God to bring those people into your life .
2) Be accountable to your church eldership or pastors, even with your most vulnerable truths.
Yes, birthing is messy, but it’s authentic and it produces LIFE. Likewise, godly accountability is the soil for growth – when we truly are accountable and submitted to the authority God has placed in our local churches, we will walk into what God has for us (Hebrews 13:17). If we believe God has appointed our leaders, we need to trust their wisdom and counsel.
3) Be intentional.
Pick an eldership / pastoral couple you can walk a road with. Then diarise time that you will spend with your birthing team. Growth will not happen if you don’t make room in your heart, and on your calendar, for it. Intentionally set aside time to hear from God and spend time His people, even if it’s a catch-up call once a week on WhatsApp. You’ll be surprised at what God does in those seemingly insignificant moments with your birthing partners. We become more like Him (Col 3.10).
4) Be somebody’s birthing partner.
Ask God who you can partner with, to encourage and build up on their journey. It may be something as small as sending a message to say you’re thinking about them, but it will make their birthing process easier.
5) Understand that your church leadership isn’t perfect, but it’s God’s model for growth and protection.
Always. People are flawed, but our King is not, and He uses imperfect people to showcase His perfect glory. Allow Him to heal areas where you have been hurt by people.
What is the Father doing in your heart? What has He promised will come to pass? In the wait, in those moments of frustration, of hope, of weariness, and of pure joy, in the hard work, know that He who promised is faithful! And when life is born, celebrate the goodness of God, together!
Women of Reverence welcomes CONTRIBUTOR Rochel Nkosi for writing this month.
Read more about Rochel Nkosi here .