Women of Reverence welcomes Karabo Ramookho as a guest blogger.
I am a 41-year mom. My husband and I will be married 9 years this November.
We fellowship at the Foresight Church in Muldersdrift. I am employed full time in the financial services sector, while my husband is in retail full time and also working as an estate agent.
I am excited to be part of the WOR (Women of Reverence) and look forward to learning from many of the awesome women that God has pulled together.
On the 15th of September, President Cyril Ramaphosa shared the much-awaited news about the country moving to Level 1 of a national lockdown. It was a great announcement for the economy, even with the uncertainty of whether or not we should be expecting and/or preparing for a second wave of Covid-19 infections.
To make this decision, the president had to deliberate with a panel of experts, advisors and all kinds of committees. His one-hour speech was not the result of a quick chat over coffee or a WhatsApp sent to him by one of his friends or comrades. As a leader of a country of around 59 million people, living in an economy that is buckling under the pressure brought on by a pandemic and other factors, the weight of his decision was in no way a light one.
I want you to picture a beautiful, still mass of water – picture seeing your reflection in the water. This is often how we want or expect things to be in our lives: quiet, still, peaceful and clear. Yet, if you throw in even the smallest pebble, your reflection will not be as clear anymore. Much too often, many pebbles of life’s disappointments and boulders of detours and chaos mean we lose ourselves in the noise around us. Maybe you are a mom raising kids alone, or a co-leader of a growing church that is testing your marriage due to the time investment that it requires from you and your husband, or a young, single lady trying to find your place in a church full of faces asking you, “When are you getting married?” Whoever you are, what we know is that in order to be in a position to make clear decisions, you need time to reflect, to reassess and to realign, to see your reflection clearly in Christ.
Like the president, you carry on your shoulders decisions that bear a certain eternity. We are, at any given point in time, one decision away from a certain eventuality. As a young single woman, reflecting on what God wants from you, instead of rushing into relationships out of desperation, can save you from the disappointment of being yoked to the wrong person; as a mother, taking 10 minutes to reflect on your teenage daughter’s rebellion may actually allow the Holy Spirit an opportunity to show you the root of what you saw as one thing, but turns out to be something else. You are also giving God room to work in your kid as much as He is working in you.
We may not have to decide whether or not a whole population of a country can or cannot have a glass of wine at a restaurant, but we do need time to reflect, just like the president, if we plan on growing in our walk with Christ, our relationships with others and in our journey as leaders. What I’ve learned during lockdown is that we often wait for crises and/or burnout before we decide to gear down, rest and reflect. In a corporate work environment, we have what is called regular check-in sessions between managers and their staff, and performance appraisals. In these sessions, we are required to reflect – look back on the past week or quarter’s performance and what worked, what didn’t work, etc.
In our journey in Christ, we need to do much appraising, too. To sit down, alone with Christ, often – to reflect, reassess and realign. To reflect on His grace, mercy, and love for us. To reassess if we are still where He wants us to be. Yes, you have an amazing voice, but maybe God is calling you to share that with the Children’s Church for a season. Maybe you need to step down a bit and receive for a while. Maybe, just maybe, the time has come for you to share your testimony on a bigger stage because there’s a soul that needs to know that they, too, can overcome the impact of rape, depression, divorce or even death of a loved one.
You need to realign – to get back into gear. Maybe with the many ripples that were caused by life’s curve balls you cannot see Jesus in what you are doing anymore. Your reflection is more of you and less of Him, or maybe you fell more in love with the gift, rather than the Giver. When you step back to reflect and you realise that you’ve walked miles ahead of Jesus, you can repent and realign.
It doesn’t have to be as dramatic as the story of Samson dying at the hands of his enemies. It can be a simple, “I am sorry Lord” and stepping back into line, falling securely into His footsteps.
Where do you start?
1. Start with journaling: record your dreams, goals and prayers, and over time, you will be able to reflect and see His active hand in your life.
2. Build a circle of wisdom around you: ask God to show you the people who are able to walk the path with you on your journey. These should be people who you can trust and check ideas with, and who can provide you with wise counsel. On our recent date night, at KFC noggals, I asked my husband to tell me how I was doing as a wife, a mom and in my ministry. His feedback was really encouraging and helped me in seeing my blind-spots in some areas. I must tell you, it was a little nerve-wracking asking for feedback, but I highly recommend it.
3. Invest time in the 3 Rs: the decisions you make can make or break you, and those whom Christ has entrusted to you. Reflecting, Reassessing and Realigning – and a bonus R: Rest – all these cannot be done haphazardly. They require time, sound advice, prayer and sometimes even research.
In Luke 5:16 (NIV) we read, “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”