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PURPOSE AIN’T ALWAYS PRETTY BY YAMKELA PAN

It is in our human nature to find out why we were created; it is an innate desire. Without purpose, life is meaningless. We can say we paint a picture of what our purpose would look like. For example, we dream of speaking to thousands of people at Emperors’ Palace, becoming a renowned writer, winning an Olympic medal or living in a mansion, etc. Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. God has the ability to give us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). However, sometimes what you dream of is not necessarily what you were purposed for.…

In all of us, there is a deep desire to know why God created us and what He has planned for our lives. We just want to know…. We are constantly in pursuit of purpose so that we can make sense of our lives. A few years back, I found myself weeping at the altar and asking God: “Lord, show me my purpose. What have you created me to do?” The Holy Spirit gently whispered to me, “Pursue me and purpose will find you.” In a nutshell, He was telling me to stop pursuing the resource (purpose) but to continue pursuing the source (Jesus Christ).


Driving down the overpopulated, dirty streets of Alexandra, I did not understand at all why we had to move there from Sandton; it made no sense to me because we had the financial muscle to stay in a “better” place. As I was battling with this, God showed me that our family was called for Alexandra; He reminded me of Jonah who was sent to Nineveh but out of disobedience, was en route to Tarshish (we can read about this in Jonah 1:1-3). Going to Tarshish made more sense to Jonah – he saw Tarshish as the better place, even though he was called to speak God’s Word in Nineveh. Jonah was running to Tarshish (Sandton) when God was calling Him to speak the Word in Nineveh (Alex). Alex did not look pretty at all – it was nothing like what I was used to. Contrary to what I saw with my naked eye, I understood the assignment that God had given my family and what that assignment required.... I allowed my heart to obey, and I was at peace.


In the book of Hosea, we read about God’s prophet who married a prostitute because God had instructed Him to do so. Hosea’s prophetic words flowed out of the life of his family. The cycle of repentance, redemption and restoration was evident in Hosea’s prophecy – and even his marriage (Hosea 1:2 and Hosea 3:1–3). Hosea’s marriage was a mirror of the Israelites’ relationship with God. When Gomer (Hosea’s wife) was unfaithful to Hosea again and again, God told Hosea to bring her back home, again and again. That must have been so difficult for Hosea, but I am sure that he found comfort in knowing that his marriage was purposed by God.


You see, purpose is not always pretty – meaningful and impactful, yes, but definitely not always pretty. God may challenge you to do something that is out of your comfort zone, out of your norm. Do not be dismayed; instead, obey. Isaiah 41:10 (AMP): “Do not fear [anything], for I am with you; Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, be assured I will help you; I will certainly take hold of you with My righteous right hand [a hand of justice, of power, of victory, of salvation].’ God will equip you for what He has called you to do. He is with you.


I leave you with Philippians 1:4-6: “In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”




Women of Reverence welcomes Yamkela Pan as a guest blogger.


Yamkela is a wife to Unathi Pan, together they have 3 active boys. They lead the Youth Ministry at Gateway City Church, Alexandra Township in Johannesburg.


Yamkela is an entrepreneur, owner of Panva (Virtual Assistant Business) with a Bachelor of Commerce in Law.


She enjoys baking and spending quality time with family and friends.



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