We live in a world that applauds independence. Success is found in having the most, being the best and managing all of that without leaning on anyone else. Paul writes (from jail) to the Church in Philippi about finding joy, not in having or doing more, but in knowing Christ.
I must admit, as an Enneagram 8w7 it is tempting for me to rely on my own strength, abilities, and resources. It is tempting to even justify my actions of doing it all on my own. I am sure that some excuses have come up in your head even as you read this: They failed me last time. I wouldn’t want to bother them at a time like this. I can do it better. So many excuses!
The root cause of our struggle with surrender, our struggle with asking for help or including others in our lives and the constant feeling of “I can do it on my own” is PRIDE. Whether we want to admit it or not, at the heart of our failure to depend on God is a deep-seeded need to be the one in charge.
“The truth is that self-sufficiency is a myth perpetuated by pride and temporary success. Rejoice in your insufficiency knowing that God’s power is made perfect in weakness.” – Sarah Young
Let me tell you a short story. One day I was in a meeting and medical consultant-turned leadership advisor, high performance strategist and author, Professor John Tibane asked me a question. He asked: “Nande Boss, when you walk in a room, who would people say just walked in the room?” He gave examples of if he were to ask the same question to others and what the answers would probably be.
For John C. Maxwell: Leadership just walked in.
For Nelson Mandela: Forgiveness just walked in.
For Jesus Christ: The Kingdom of God just walked in.
He asked the question again: “Nande Boss, when you walk in a room, who would people say just walked in?”
Without even thinking I answered and said: “Courage!” When I walk in any room people would say courage just walked in the room. One of my gifts and burdens is that I take pleasure in overcoming obstacles. I enjoy doing hard things. I get bored when there is no challenge. On top of that I’m a seeker of justice. History is littered with courageous people who saw an injustice, a need, or a problem, and became famous for overcoming, changing things, and fighting for justice. All of this is not wrong. The problem is when the overcomer or fighter rushes ahead of God or doesn’t consider how the people involved want to solve their problems.
Why am I telling you this story? I’m sharing this so that you can see that sometimes it is our strengths and our gifts that we need to watch out for, and it is our strengths that we need to bring forward collectively that will make us stronger.
What do people say when you walk into a room? Can you imagine the room when ALL of us walk in? Walk in with all of our strengths and weaknesses, gifts, skills and different passions. That’s a powerful room. We need courage, we need the joy bringers, we need the ones with leadership mantles, we need the creatives, we need the thinkers, we need the strategists. We are definitely better together!
We also have a need to connect to each other. Ultimately, no matter what obstacles we face, or what hardships we endure, we can always lean on God, and He is enough for us. We can survive in isolation because God will be there, and He has gifted us the ability to do good things. But God does not want us to be alone and He wants us to do more than survive. He wants us to thrive!
We see many instances in Scripture where God pushes us to be connected to each other:
In Genesis 2: 18, God declares that is not good for man to be alone.
In Luke 10: 1-2, Jesus sends the seventy-two out in pairs rather than alone.
In 1 Thessalonians 5: 10-12, Paul tells us to encourage each other and build each other up.
It is apparent that we are called to support each other, to build each other up, and to also seek that from others. Not only does God not want us to be alone and isolated, but He wants us to be aware of others who are in isolation and need encouragement.
I’d love it that you take a moment to consider two things. I’d love that you consider your time and consider your words.
Time is a more valued commodity than money in our culture.
Take a look at your schedule for the past month. Does it reflect a dependence on Jesus or just a really busy life?
How often do you involve your spouse, family members or friends when making decisions? Do you consider the impact of the changes you make on them?
Practise confession.
The simple practise of confession: Saying, “I spoke too quickly” Admitting, “I didn’t consider that perspective” cultivates a culture of “you’re not always right”. It is healthy for us to know that our way is not always the best way. The best way often includes or considers the perspective, stories, and plight of others.
Are there areas of your life or ministry where you are unnecessarily holding onto things because you want them done your way? How can you take steps to release control of those and empower others to participate alongside you?
Think about a room, not an empty room, but a room full of the best gifts, all in operation. All in full bloom.
Now isn’t that just a beautiful thought?!
Be encouraged dear friend, we can make all the rooms we walk in beautiful and strong by leaning on each other. By including people who are different to us. Think about this the next time you walk into any room. Ask yourself: Who else should be in this room? Go and find them.
Better Together
Nande
Women of Reverence welcomes Nande Boss as a guest blogger.
Nande Boss is an extraordinary, well-rounded woman living her life by intention. As a sought after speaker and business woman. She joyfully moves throughout the world passionately fulfilling her God-ordained purpose and calling in life-placing courage in the heart of every man and woman she meets.
As a management consultant who helps organisations get clear on their message to the world and facilitates workshops within the corporate, and faith-based sectors, Nande focuses her training on purpose, change management, crisis communications, leadership communications, and executive presence. Her innate passion for social, cultural and community issues along with her dynamic personality have enabled her to blaze new trails and emerge as a well-respected leader.
Nande’s mission has opened doors of opportunity for her to travel to other countries, including Namibia, Zimbabwe and throughout South Africa, creating a global platform to dialogue and inspire women to believe what God says about them. Her unique presence and creative flair expressed through her writing and speaking, are captivating and make her relatable to young ladies and seasoned women alike.
Nande earned her Bachelor of Technology in Project Management and National Diploma in Electrical Engineering at The Cape Peninsula University of Technology, has 5 years of practicing in Change Management in the corporate space and currently looks after all communications and client experience for an award-winning independent investment advisory and wealth management company.
When Nande is not at the office, find her writing inspirational blogs to share with young men and women around the world. Find her training up her daughter to be the leading lady God has created her to be. Find her hosting her brand-new podcast called Make Room with Nande Boss. The podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and all reputable podcast platforms.