LEADING WELL IN OUR HOMES - BY LIESL MARE
For many ladies the idea of leading in the home might seem contrary to scripture, and I have heard
the complaints of many women wishing their husbands would take up the leadership role in their
homes. Yes, the husband is the leader of the home but even within that structure of leadership, each
person has responsibilities. Those responsibilities make us leaders in those areas of responsibility.
So, even if we’re unaware of it, we are leaders in our homes.
Luke 16 v 10 (KJV) "He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much."
Matt 25 v 23 (NKJV) "His lord said to him, Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord."
These scriptures are relevant for all believers irrespective of our gender. To be faithful in the little is
a God-requirement and something God will reward.
So where and in what do we need to be faithful if the word is so clear on faithfulness? I believe
faithfulness starts at home and how I lead what is mine to lead. I love Proverbs 31. For many women it might seem like an unattainable standard, but it’s poetic Scripture that I have prayed into to attain. The virtuous women….
"10 Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain...
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness."
These are only few verses from this powerful chapter in the Bible, please read the whole piece
from verses 10 up to 31. In this passage it is very clear that a virtuous woman is an active, involved woman and that she is not idle, lazy or scared. I am inspired by her strength, endurance and ability to lead well with what she has.
Her areas of responsibility include
Her household (v13,14,15,21,27),
Her relationship with her husband (v11,12)
Her business or work (v16,18,19,24),
Her community (v20),
Herself (v22,25,26) and
Her relationship with her God (v 30)
In each of these she is a leader. She rules her own spirit and is able to lead well wherever she goes and in whatever she is involved in.
We lead in our households (even if we are not master chefs) and most women play a very significant role in the maintaining the household. We need to be faithful and make sure we are thrifty, not making the household suffer from frivolous spending! Our faithfulness is a deposit into the hearts of our children and if we take hygiene, good eating habits and manners seriously, we deposit into their bodies and futures as well.
The virtuous wife even leads in her marriage relationship! We lead ourselves and we lead our
marriage relationship into life by sowing life into it. If we stand back and leave the field of our
marriage to tend itself, tares will take over. A purposeful leader will take the weeds out as they
spring up, water the good seeds in it, and nurture the soil.
If we are involved in business, be faithful and honest, lead well so that your own children and others can call you blessed, and the works of your own hands can praise you in the gates (v31) or
marketplace. If you lead faithfully then you will have a good reputation.
Don’t be afraid to help the poor. Sometimes in our part of the world the needs around us can be
overwhelming and I have seen many women shrink back and help nobody, they are too
overwhelmed to even help one. Ask God how you can touch just one person. You will be amazed at what a little can do in someone’s life. During the lockdown period we had many beggars at our gate. I made sure that I was stocked up with non-perishable inexpensive foods so that whenever someone came to our gate, we could send them away with something.
Lead yourself well. We need to look after ourselves ladies! We don’t have to spend lots of money on ourselves, but we need to know that we are daughters of the King and He takes pride in us. Take care of how you dress, do your hair etc. It is not the outward adornment that counts but from these scriptures it is clear that the Proverbs 31 woman did not just let herself go! We all want to give up on ourselves at times, especially as we get older and the pounds keep piling on. Those are the times we can cry out to God to help us be faithful in the little and to look after our physical bodies so that we can run this race with endurance and protect the temple of His presence that we are.
Lastly, we can lead in our relationship with God. We can take the lead to make time to sit at His feet. I love the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10 v 38-41. Martha was a real doer. Mary was also willing to serve! On this particular day recorded in this passage, Mary chose to sit at Jesus’s feet rather than serve. She led herself to choose. Be willing to choose what is needed to establish your relationship with God. You are not a victim, remember that, take ownership and lead well, making time for what really matters!
Do not be a mere bystander hoping for someone else to take the lead. Lead the areas that are within your sphere well. You ARE able to lead! Ask God today which of these areas you need to bring before Him so that you can take up leadership again. Be bold and courageous and take back the areas that’ve been relinquished.
You are a leader and a carrier of His Presence, lead well beloved.