Girl, trust me. I know the struggle.
My own personal fears and insecurities have sadly robbed most of my teenage years from the joy and freedom that I should have experienced, sometimes it still robs me today.
Girl, I see you.
Waking up in the morning feeling absolutely terrible, realizing that the horrible smell rising up to my nostrils is the result of my terrible morning breath, trying to stretch after waking up and getting a toe cramp during the process, and finally… walking to the mirror and not recognizing what I see because of my hair that is literally everywhere.
Let’s just face it, the movies lie! Women do not look that glamorous in the morning...I really wish we did, just imagine falling asleep and then getting a makeover by fairies, waking up as America’s Next Top Model ready to conquer the world. I mean, how cool would that be??
But sadly, that’s not reality. We wake up feeling like a potato and sometimes, even more insecure than the day before. I know for me, sometimes I struggle to look at myself in the mirror because I’m terrified of what I am going to see.
I remember most of my teenage years hating the way I looked, hating the way I talked, the way I acted. I would literally look for things that could be wrong with me and then dwell on those thoughts until I believed them.
I was so scared of how people were going to see me, of how they were going to think of me. I lived in the fear of approval.
I always felt like I had to change to suit peoples’ thoughts, to make them like me. I tried to make myself ‘good enough’. So I would hide. I would hide behind my mask, hide behind my fears, hide behind my insecurities, not realizing that I was losing my identity.
I’m just gonna be real here.
Us, as girls, compare. I really wish we didn’t. But it’s a trick of the enemy that robs us of our joy and freedom. We compare ourselves with the girl next door, we get intimidated by another girl who has more followers on Instagram than we do, we get jealous over girls who look good in a bikini, a girl who has all the boys’ attention.
So what do we do?
We hide. We hide behind movies, behind books, food, anything that takes away the sting of reality.
We shut ourselves away,scared to reveal our true self, scared of the rejection that we might face. Scared, ashamed, broken… and hidden.
Girl. I get you.
Life is hard, but it’s even worse when you don’t know your identity. I realize that now after going through all of that and still not believing who I belonged to and who I had been created for.
Let me tell you that once I asked God to reveal Himself , He started to reveal Caitlyn to me.
The real me, the genuine, free me. I only started finding my identity in Christ once I started seeking Him and getting to know Him.
It’s in the seeking of Christ that you can only find your true identity, not anybody else’s… but yours.
Jesus longs for you to seek Him.He didn’t create you to hide in the shadows of others, or to hide behind masks of insecurities that end up suffocating you. He created you to be you!
Unashamed, confident and free.
‘For we are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus, for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.’ - Ephesians 2:10
Girl! We are His masterpiece! Chosen before creation, set apart to walk in the purpose that God has called us to, equipped, ready and strong.
Let’s walk as women with the realization that we are so incredibly loved, beautiful with God’s beauty, and confident in the woman that He has specifically called us to be. When we walk in this reality nothing can stop us, we become unstoppable. The way God has created you to be.
You do you Boo!
Let’s do it.
Read Caitlyn Joy Van Maarseveen's bio here