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Book Review: Forgiving what you can't forget Author: Lysa Terkeurst

Dear friend, I understand deeply and personally, how hard it is when someone does something unchangeable that also feels unforgivable. I've cried countless tears and wrestled through so many questions:

  • What if it feels like forgiveness won't actually fix anything?

  • Does forgiveness mean I have to be in a relationship with that person again?

  • Is it even possible to forgive if they're are not sorry for what they did?

If you can relate then you are in the right place. Within these pages, your heart will be tenderly held. Your thoughts don't need to be edited. Your resistance is understood. But there are some biblical perspectives consider that have brought peace into my life. And I want the same for you. That pain you have been living with? Those unresolved feelings of angst?

You deserve to stop suffering because of what other people have done to you.

And if no one has ever said they're sorry for your deep pain, I will. My heart breaks for what breaks so many of us. So let me take your hand and lead you through how forgiveness is not only possible is one of the most healing decision to embrace.

Reviewed by:

Nandi Magangane

Tell us a bit about yourself:

I am a child of God born again at the age of 11 so my whole life has been around the church. I love the Lord who I came to know as daddy because we were raised by a single mom. I am a mother to a beautiful baby girl the star to my existence. I have been married twice and divorced and so I am simply looking at rebuilding life for me and my daughter. I work for an aviation company and simply enjoy my job.

Name of Book:

Forgiving What you can't forget


Lysa Terkeurst

What drew you to read this book:

The book was initially recommended by a friend, but mostly the title spoke to my past experiences in life.

What impact did this book have on you:

As a child I was a victim of molestation I learned ways of protecting myself. Growing up into adulthood you learn that the reasons to mistrust grow with you. Two failed marriages later you begin to have questions but no answers. This book explores some of the issues and how to look at the situation I find myself in, and most importantly relating all back to God's role in it all. One of the first titles "I still cry over what happened" is something that you get to feel you don't have the right to admit because it's been so long, when does it become petty to mention it to another person.

In a paragraph, what is the main point of the book:

The author begins the book with her own story of a shattered marriage and already at this point it opens you up to think she might just know how I feel. Exploring memories and thoughts associated with the devastating events. She talks about forgiveness wanting to be right and demanding justice so to speak "what if I'd been able to release the offense and move forward…? What if I could do that now?" these words for jump out because that's were your journey with in the book really allows you to self diagnose. In the different chapters she allows the reader to explore possibilities without necessarily imposing on the outcome of the self evaluation. I believe that is important because it is not a all size fits all when dealing with painful memories my favorite is chapter 13 "bitterness is a bad deal that makes big promises" she talks about 2 separate events years apart that for some reason seem to connect and not in any way that is logical to current situation. But the emotions do not allow you to separate it. For me I related to this feeling a lot the frustration with myself. She talks about resentment that is attached to a specific person while bitterness tends to be a collective feeling of all resentment. Absolutely agree. In the end the book gives a point of view another perspective based on personal experiences and really helpful for someone willing to walk the journey of self diagnoses and forgiveness and ties it beautifully with the word of God in the last pages. The verses were a wonderful devotional starter for me. It was worth the read.

Who would benefit from reading this book:

I give the book a 4 simply because it is based mostly on opinion and perspective. But I would recommend as a start to healing.

Star Rating?:


All comments are writers own.

Published by Thomas Nelson and distributed by Struik Christian Media.

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